There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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