its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We have started to decorate penises.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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