When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
