I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
