I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
