Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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