Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
