just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
