Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
