If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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