What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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