Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
