That's intense
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
