Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
