its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
