And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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