my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
