i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
