There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize