a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
