I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
