i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
