Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
