idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
