I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this just has baby written all over it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
