Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
