Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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