sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
