I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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