I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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