I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
we made out on top of his cat.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Randomize
