there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They took my balls.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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