M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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