Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
