Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
