haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
