if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
