I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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