and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
