When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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