My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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