the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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