i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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