i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
