I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
