I have demons in me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
