my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
