life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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