so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
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HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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