I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
