Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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