i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
