I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
