like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
