do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
id be glad to
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
