She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
