How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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