I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
