i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
