im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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