Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
