Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
