i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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